Voluptuous Thinking

Two milleniums of OJ … why?

September 18, 2007 | Media, World Events

The case of OJ Simpson now spans two decades and two millenia.  It includes fresh material (road rage and, as of today, seven felony counts).  Something that was better left as parody for a VH1 “Remember When” special keeps infecting our lives like a deadbeat dad who visits whenever it’s convenient for him.

It is not enough that Mr. Simpson is haunted by the legacy of his acquittal.  Haunted because there are few who truly believe him innocent, despite that fact that almost everyone got their facts from the media tales.  Haunted because of the $34 million civil finding in favor of the Goldman family.  Haunted because a former college football star, a former NFL star and a former movie star is now breaking into hotel rooms to claim bits of his past to sell them for income — alledgedly.

You’re probably thinking this is easy pickings for bloggers, columnists and the media — and you’d be right.  It is because he pops up like the gopher in the yard that won’t go away, chewing out the foundation of your home.   It is that memory of a courtroom full of people under closer scrutiny than oil fields in Iraq.  And soon after, almost everyone in that courtroom became famous, in one way or another.  So, the easy pickings come because when Mr. Simpson pops up in the news, someone is looking to ride his coattails to an hour-long gig on Court TV.

As I sat and thought of tonight’s blog topic, I couldn’t get past the one mind-boggling fact: Mr. Simpson is 60.  Sixty!  He’s already an AARP member.  He collects a pension from the NFL and two others from other sources (which cannot be taken by the Goldmans; it’s income already earned).  If his arthritis bothered him during the trial, it must have been awful while he chased killers on golf courses from Boca Raton to Pebble Beach.  It must be agonizing now secretly stealing away time to sign USC jerseys and footballs in events set-up in more clandestine fashion that an Air Force U-2 flight over Iran.  In any case, my grandparents at 60 had little to do with sports memorabilia and friends with guns and more to do figuring out Medicare.

The funny thing is this: he must covertly make this time.  If the Goldmans discover that he’s doing these signings, all the income goes to them.  Mr. Simpson gets none.  At this moment, the Goldmans are seeking a ruling to get the merchandise Mr. Simpson alledgedly went after in that hotel room, which includes a pair of Joe Montana-signed cleets. 

Bill Maher noted aptly on CNN tonight that someone who “killed his wife and has the reputation he has should stay away from guns.  Maybe it was because he couldn’t find his knife.  I don’t know.” There is something to the phrase “Don’t eat where you’ve shit.”  Perhaps in contrast, the phrase is flipped for Mr. Simpson: “Don’t shit where you’ve eaten.”

However, the reason why Mr. Simpson’s legacy spans these two millenia is this: it has to, for his sake.  If he fades away; goes and lives the quiet life, his memorabilia loses value.  It’s another sort of oddity; a throwaway; the OJ Simpson jersey signed that the guy at the table at the convention will let go for twenty bucks.  But if Mr. Simpson is out there still poking a stick in the eye of society; still flipping the Goldmans a bloody-glove covered bird; and still keeping himself in the public eye — but not too much — then Mr. Simpson is like an occasional rate cut by the fed (with apologies for using the word ‘cut’).  And he knows it.

Has Mr. Simpson has gone too far this time?  Alledgedly raiding a room with four friends?  Guns?  There’s a kidnapping charge as part of the indictment, too.  Perhaps the years are catching up to Mr. Simpson’s judgment.  Perhaps at 60, the times are becoming more desperate.  Perhaps his weakness is one that, stolen away in a cheap hotel in Las Vegas, manifests itself into something a generation of viewers knew was true long before even the first verdict was read aloud.

Finally, I doubt this will be his demise.  So many people’s heart leapt.  With today’s seven felony charges on thr table, there is a grand swath of people who saw the white Bronco and thought, “Here is the redemption I seek.”  But it won’t happen.  This whole business is shady.  Why would someone record that?  Why was it on TMZ within hours?  This whole business is shady.

What it means, however, is Mr. Simpson will be with us for a long time to come.  He’s back in clear focus.  I would have just prefer he been part of a VH1 special with some Nirvana music playing over his grainy image.