The above title would have been what I called this post. However, my friends Jenna Glatzer and June “Bug” Kramin talked about this topic at length and did such a magnificent job saying so (links to both coming up), there’s little I can add.
What I would offer is that this “meaning of life” conversation happens in any profession where one has invested him or herself almost wholly, well-surpassing Malcolm Gladwell’s 10,000 hours to achieve proficiency and professionalism at a given task (I think he said this in “Outliers”).
I’d relate another facet of being a “real” writer to you from my military career. When you join a military service it’s very much like joining any large corporation. It is divided into various departments that do research, human resources, finance, weather forecasting supply and logistics and, of course, the actual operations that militaries do — dropping bombs, firing tanks, fighting enemy soldiers and sinking ships. A military person could be assigned to any of these functions, but the cynics will tell him that until he gets to an operational unit, he’s “not in the real military.” So, unless you were stationed at the unit with bombers, and assigned to the bomb squadron working daily operations to figure out ways to drop bombs on people, you weren’t in the real military. For some, everything past boot camp wasn’t the real military. And based on some opinions, there were only about three places out of 250 or so where you could go be in “the real military.”
Admittedly, judging where “the real military” is means seeing things through the lens of others. Similarly in writing, it’s easy to get caught up in others’ successes. So, how do you view this question through your own lens? As mentioned Jenna and June summed this point up well. My only add ons to this would be, in setting realistic goals about writing (or anything else you’re going to dedicate that much blood, sweat and tears into), do these things:
- Decide on “real” early. Not later. You’ll just end up frustrated. For some in the military, “real” is getting promoted and working the system. For others, it’s being on the tip of the spear, fighting battles and practicing the art of war. For others, it’s a means of earning a college education. In any case, don’t let others dictate your “real.” Along those same lines …
- Don’t lie to yourself. Don’t say you want blue when you really want red. Does having a James Patterson fan base with books flying off Walmart shelves make you a “real” writer? What does? To that end, with Stephen Covey clearly in the forefront …
- Begin with the end in mind. Here’s a little secret: the military doesn’t train soldiers for the purpose of researching a genome, forecasting weather, or counting money. It trains soldiers to do those things to kill people and break things. That’s the end goal: kill people and break things (“War is a continuation of policy by other means,” as Clausewitz said). So, if the end goal for you is to write a book, great. If it’s to affect lives, great. If it’s to sell 100,000 copies of that book and swim in a bathtub of cash, great. Just be specific, be clear, and begin with that ending in mind.
Those things said, PLEASE read Jenna’s blog about this subject, “On Searching for Validation,” here and June’s discussion, “I’m Quitting My Day Job,” on the topic here. Then come back and let’s have a conversation about this in the comments. :)
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I am the co-host and creator of "The Science Fiction Show" podcast with my good friends Keith Houin and Michael Wistock. Join us each Friday for a look at all things Sci-Fi in the world of pop culture, TV, film and more. How? Easy! 
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My short story, "The Lives Magda Made," was accepted into the horror anthology, "No Rest for the Wicked" from Rainstorm Press. The book is due out in May 2012.
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I wholeheartedly agree that beginning with an ending in mind is a key facet of becoming a writer, if not least because it provides a solid target to aim for, but as hinted at by your post, the question of what makes a real write is more one of personality than it is an objectivity.
I’ve personally got a while to go before I reach my next goal of writing for a living, although having been published and achieved some success to date, I suspect I’ll cross over and become a “real” writer sometime before I reach that goal.
Thank you for the comment, Mark. I’m glad Jenna and June said what I’ve been thinking about the past few weeks. June actually teed it up in my head and I meant to write it a few weeks ago. However, Jenna did SUCH a fantastic job in the long form, I just wanted to bring the military analogy out.
Jason, this is so timely. I wrote an Ermas essay that addressed being “real” writer from a more humorous and kinda sarcastic angle recently, and it has remained on my mind lately. I had my own preconceived ideas about writing from the beginning, and I’m still not there. I write, and earn my living at it, but it doesn’t feel like I am a real writer; it feels like I am in a typing pool. You speared the reason why right through the bullseye: What I do is not what I want to do! I have tried to convince myself that I want blue when I actually want red. That has led to several years of frustration. I don’t exactly know why, but I have a good idea. I look around and see so many very talented peers and I think I will never be able to what they do.
But should I do what they do? Maybe I am looking for or desiring success in areas where I would never fit simply because others’ successes are valid to me. It’s like seeing a wonderful object that someone else has, but then buying it and having it not fit right.
When I dream, I do not dream of being in a typing pool. Now I just have to be honest with myself about what my real dreams are, whether or not anyone else thinks those dreams are attainable or worthwhile.
Very well said, Jason. You have to get out of something what you expect to get out of it – not what someone else thinks you should. Awesome how you connected it with people’s views of the military as well. I guess it goes for a lot of things. My post was hardly quote worthy – you’re too kind! Jenna’s was awesome. I’m humbled to be paired with her!
You rock. That is all. :)
Jason, you’ve given me far too many things to think about here. I adore Jenna’s blog. She doesn’t post often but every post is always worth reading. As I said there, it’s always reassuring to hear that writers in other stages of their careers are also having difficulties, even if those struggles are different from mine.
I like the red v blue analogy. I was focusing a lot on short stories and trying to get those published, but they aren’t my passion. I like novels, even though they take a heckuva lot more time. Same goes for non-fiction articles. I think if I found a niche I enjoy that’d be one thing, but for now I’ll stick with fiction.